By Father Toms
All churches have a distinctive manner of worship. Even those that claim to have no order of service, are very liturgical in their own way. Their so-called spontaneous prayers use the same expressions over and over. Certain movements and postures become standardized even in those churches which claim that they are most free.
The Anglican Church has a distinctive style of worship. At St. Paul’s, we encourage people to enter into the full expression of the traditions of our worship. While we do not makes these expressions legalistic requirements, we believe that our style of worship does foster a reverence for God and His majesty, a spiritual mindedness while in the act of worship, that keeps our attention focused on God.
In a typical Reformed Episcopal Church, there is little opportunity for the person to remain idle during worship. You are always singing, praying, or listening. The various postures of sitting, standing, and kneeling force us to keep up with what is happening in the service.
When St. Paul’s Reformed Episcopal Church was started, many of us from non-Episcopal backgrounds were lost. It took quite a bit of time before we knew what to do and when. There are times when we are still forgetful, but gradually, by repetition, and by watching others who are more familiar with this style of worship, we are beginning to become comfortable with Episcopal worship.
Of course, the best time to learn to worship in this style is in childhood. American children, by and large, are ill-mannered in every sphere of life. Perhaps we should send all of them for intensive training in schools of etiquette. These inappropriate and rude manners often manifest themselves in the church. If our children would be taught now all of the nuances of Anglican worship, by the time they reach adulthood, their participation in worship would become second nature to them, and they would know how to behave in the house of God. This article is written with the hope that we will begin to teach our children how to worship in this Episcopal fashion which is so conducive to reverencing the majesty of God.
First, preparation for worship should begin at home. As time is available, mother and father should go over the worship service with their children. From the Book of Common Prayer, explain to them the various parts of the service and what to do at various parts of the service. They may not be able to understand the “why”, but as they grow older you should explain to them the various reasons for the parts of the service and the gestures and postures.
On Sunday morning, make it a point to impress upon your children that this day is different from all other days. This is the day that we devote to the worship of God. Then, impress upon them that they are going to a place that is different from all other places. The church building has been set apart for the worship of God. Therefore, they are to act differently in church than they act in any other place. Encourage them to wear their very best, because they are about to have a formal audience with the King of kings and Lord of lords. If you were going to meet with the President of the United States, you wouldn’t wear your normal, every day clothes. Well, you are about to meet with someone far more important that the President. Look your best. Point out that the priest does not wear the robes, stole, and chasuble every day of the week. These are special clothes to be worn, because we are in the palace of the King of the universe.
Since the church building is set apart for the worship of God, our behavior inside the building must be entirely different than anywhere else. You do not act the same way in church as you do at school, on the playground, or at home. The church is a house of prayer, and therefore we must pray and remember that others around us are praying. We must be very quiet and reverent. Point out to your children when they arrive at church that other people are already kneeling in prayer; therefore, enter the sanctuary with great reverence and respect.
As you enter the church, look toward the altar that has been prepared for Holy Communion. As you walk toward your seat, remember that you are in the special presence of God. Before you enter the row of your seat, stop, look toward the altar, and either bow or genuflect. In my worship experiences at other Reformed Episcopal churches, some men stop, go all the way to one knee, make the sign of the cross, and then enter the row. Teach your children to make some kind of reverential sign as a reminder that they are in the presence of God, and that they are there to worship.
Next, when you have come to your seat, teach your children to get on their knees for a time of prayer. If they are too young to read, teach them that, at least for a few moments, they can kneel with their heads bowed and eyes closed to say the Lord’s Prayer or some other prayer you may have taught them. If they are old enough to read, encourage them to take their prayer books and turn to pages 594 and 595 and pray the prayers, For the Spirit of Prayer, In the Morning, and Sunday Morning. When they have finished, tell them to make the sign of the cross and be seated reverently.
Encourage your children to participate in all the parts of the service. Until they can read, they will, of course, not be able to sing all the hymns or say all the prayers. Sing hymns with them at home so that they can memorize them. When I was three years old, I could sing, “When the Roll Is Called up Yonder, I’ll Be There.” If you will sing often with your children, they will be able to recall the hymns they know. Spurgeon’s mother used to give him a nickel for every hymn that he memorized. That may be bribery, but the children learn a great deal from the experience of memorizing hymns. Of course, a child should be taught the Lord’s Prayer and the creeds of the church from as early an age as possible. When these parts of the service arrive, they should be able to say them from memory. Also, teach your children the proper times to bow. Teach them to bow when the cross is processed. Teach them to make the sign of the cross at the various parts in the service. Have them sit, kneel, and stand as you do.
Explain to your children that they are responsible to be attentive and participate in all the worship service. One of the most amazing features of evangelical church life in the past 30 years has been the frequency with which children leave the worship service. I grew up in the church from infancy. Neither I, nor any of my friends, ever got up to leave the worship service once it had started, except in cases of emergency. Foolishness is wrapped up in the heart of a child, and they will do anything to get out of a worship service. Be firm with them.
When the time for the sermon comes, encourage your children to be very quiet and listen. I know that I was listening to sermons from the time I was seven years old, because I could repeat them afterwards. But even if I didn’t understand a word, I sat there quietly. At St. Paul’s we do not have children’s church, because it is our conviction that the entire family should worship together. At St. Paul’s we are not going to divide the family and have the children worshiping in one place and the adults in another. Hopefully, at some point we will be able to have a nursery for the very young. But children should be taught to sit in the worship service from as early an age as possible. From the time they are children through their teen-age years and into their adult years, they will be kneeling with their families in prayer.
Your children can make it through an entire worship service. When I was a child, I had to sit through the entire service as soon as my mother could bring me to church. Even if I didn’t understand a word that the preacher was saying, I had better act as though I was trying. If I didn’t pay attention during the service, my dad took me outside where the church had a row of hedge around the building. After I had been switched a few times outside, I learned how important it was to behave during the church service. Of course, nowadays I suppose my dad would be arrested for child abuse. (Do I need to put a disclaimer here? All right, I am not advocating my father’s method). Nevertheless, your children can learn to behave in a worship service if you make it a priority in your lives. From the time I was eight years old, I sat alone during the entire worship service. My dad was usually working and my mother sang in the choir. I sat on the second row every Sunday. I didn’t sit in the back of the church with the other young people, because they whispered and didn’t pay attention. If I had acted in that manner, I would have been in a world of trouble when I got home. My parents impressed upon me that I was in the house of God, and I had to do everything possible to make sure that my mind was focused on all parts of the service.
I know that people argue that children cannot understand the sermon. You would be surprised what children pick up from sermons. It may be only one line, one story, but it may make an impression that will be life long. I was gratified the other night to hear one of my young people talking about a sermon he had hear me preach three years ago when he was only nine. Even if the child doesn’t understand, something is “caught” during the sermon. Preaching is theology on fire. Even if the child can’t understand, he should have an early memory of watching his pastor burn with passion from the pulpit.
When it comes time for Holy Communion, impress upon your children the need to be especially reverent. Teach them to come out of their row reverently, again bow or genuflect toward the altar, and then go forward to receive the communion. When they get to the kneeler, teach them to bow their heads in prayer and ask the Lord to bless them as they take communion. Teach them to place the right hand over the left hand to form a little altar for them to receive the bread. After they receive the bread, teach them to say, “Amen.” After receiving the wine, teach them to bow their heads for just a moment and give thanks to God for the death of His Son on the cross, then make the sign of the cross and go reverently back to their seats. It would be a good idea to teach them to kneel and pray when they go back to their seats.
By worshiping in this manner, your children will have a proper respect for the house of God. They will learn that the worship service is not an auditorium, or a lecture hall, but the place where God expects his people to pay him the proper reverence and respect. May God bless you as you teach your children to worship Almighty God.
Copyright c 2004 by Stephan R. Toms
